


color theory

by lovelywonho



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Art School, Infidelity, M/M, Mild Smut, Minor Character Death, and wonho is his stupid boyfriend, changkyun is an emo art student
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 13:31:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9609575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelywonho/pseuds/lovelywonho
Summary: “Very good, Changkyun, you don’t usually paint with red do you?”“No Sir, red never appealed to me, until now”





	

The air in the field was warm and pleasant. Hoseok and Changkyun lay side by side, surrounded by lush, green grass and fragrant, yellow daisies. They were only a couple miles from their college dorms, but it felt like a completely different world. 

Changkyun turned his head to look at the boy next to him, he had dragged him out of his dorm with the excuse of “looking for inspiration”. In reality, he had just wanted to spend time with him. He reached for his hand. His rough, paint stained hands colliding with Hoseok’s smooth, un-calloused skin.

“Is this a date?” Hoseok turned to face him.

Changkyun bit his tongue and thought for a moment. The smell of grass and sunshine was intoxicating, pushing him to be bolder than usual.

“Yes, I suppose it is. Is that okay?”

“Yes”, Hoseok smiled.

That night, Changkyun painted daisies, cheerful, bright and warm. He never usually painted with yellow, but the memories he made in field brought new meaning to the color. 

-

The sun shined through the grimey windows of Changkyun’s bedroom. He woke with a yawn and rolled out of bed. The beams of light illuminated the dust that danced through the air like fairies. He clumsily reached for his phone and found it on the stack of old textbooks he used as a bedside table. 

He padded out the the bathroom he shared with his roommate. He was momentarily blinded as he flicked on the florescent lights in the cramped bathroom.

“Mmph….. Too early”, he mumbled and reached for his toothbrush. 

He brushed his teeth and quickly rinsed out his mouth with water. He stepped out of the bathroom and made his way into the kitchen. He was pouring milk into his bowl of rice puffs, when he noticed the note stuck to the cracked marble counter.

 

 _Had to dash to class, I didn’t want to wake you up_

_Last night was fun….. Wanna get lunch?_

_-Hoseok_

 

Changkyun held the note in his hands and grinned down at it.

“Woah.. dude are you okay?”, his roommate, Jooheon, who was crashed on the couch, called out to him.

Changkyun looked down at himself, apart from wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and one sock, he seemed fine.

“Your neck dude, you might wanna get that checked out”, Jooheon smirked and resumed watching the TV. 

Changkyun looked at his reflection in the microwave door. His face and neck was covered in dark purple hickeys and bite marks. Suddenly last night’s events came rushing back to him. 

Leaving the bar with Hoseok, struggling to get home because they were both too drunk to coordinate their steps with the line of the pavement. Stumbling into his bedroom and being pushed onto the bed by Hoseok’s warm hands. Hoseok’s fingers in his hair, in his mouth, inside him. The pleasurable burn of being stretched open and the addictive rhythm of Hoseok’s hips slamming against his ass. 

“Changkyun? You alright dude?”, Jooheon’s question pulled him back to the present.

He grinned sheepishly as he rushed to the bathroom to check the rest of his body for any more memories from last night and left his bowl of cereal forgotten on the kitchen counter. 

He held onto those memories and took them all the way to his art class that afternoon. His brush was dipped in a rich, seductive red. He tried to recreate the passion and urgency with his careful strokes. His art teacher walked behind him and made a noise of approval.

“Very good, Changkyun, you don’t usually paint with red do you?”

“No Sir, red never appealed to me, until now”

-

The shrill sound of Changkyun’s ringtone blared throughout the lecture theatre. 

“Uh, sorry guys”, he took the phone and switched it onto silent mode before checking who was calling.

It was his mother. His mother never called him during the day, unless it was an emergency. Changkyun gathered his books and quietly slipped out of the theatre. He dialed his mothers phone number and held the phone to his ear. The glass screen of his phone was cold against his flushed cheeks.

“Changkyun”, his mother answered, sounding panicked.

“Mom, what’s up?”

“Its your father, he was in an accident” she said

“What do you mean?”, Changkyun’s breath became short and quick.

“I know it’s a lot to ask, but you should really come to the hospital tonight”

He paused and sucked in a deep breath of air. The phone in his hand was no longer cold, but instead warm and slightly sweaty from the heat of his palm. 

“Okay mom, I’ll see you soon”

One over-priced uber later, Changkyun was sitting in the florescent lights of the hospital waiting room. His mother was wearing down her shoes, pacing up and down the linoleum floors. He held his head in his hands, shaking with nervous energy. The constant electrical hum of the building kept him awake. 

He reached for his backpack and pulled out a sketch pad. Most of the drawings in it were rubbish, but drawing soothed his nerves. He took the pencil out of the spiral and flipped to a new page. He began sketching a portrait of his dad, soft grey lines creating the familiar shape of his eyes and the cheerful curve of his smile. 

He looked up around the room, the color grey was everywhere, the cushion chairs, the hands on the clock, the nurse’s desks. He usually avoided the color when created art, the neutrality and uncertainty of it scared him. He glanced back down at his drawing. The grey outlines of the pencil were more daunting than ever. Was his dad gonna be okay? Would he die in this lonely hospital? Changkyun didn’t know, he didn’t have the answers. The color was mocking him, bringing new doubts and uncertainties to the front of his mind. He ripped out the page and closed his sketch book. 

-

The priest’s voice echoed through the church. Changkyun sat in the first row of pews next to his sobbing mother. His black suit tie was too tight, he felt like he was suffocating.

It was a small funeral; his father didn’t like many people. He was a quiet man and he always preferred the company of a beer and the evening news as opposed to friends or workmates. 

Sitting above his father’s coffin was a bouquet of white roses and green leaves. The vibrant hue of the leaves stuck out against the black canvas of the roses. The more he looked at the leaves, the more calming they became. The leaves were a mix of a dark moss color and lighter, pea green. They fell across the coffin like a table cloth. He focused on the composition of the leaves and suddenly he didn’t feel like he was choking anymore

That night, Changkyun sat himself in front of a canvas and painted. He painted until his fingers hurt and his formal dress shirt was stained with green-tinted spots. The color calmed his over-active mind and momentarily soothed his anxieties. His mother would scold him for painting in his suit, but art was his escape, it was the breath of fresh air he so desperately needed, and that made it all worth it. 

-

Changkyun unlocked the door to Hoseok’s apartment, the warm air and familiar smell of his boyfriend welcomed him like a hug. He slipped off his coat and his shoes and made his way to the kitchen. He was greeted by the beautiful sight of Hoseok leaning over the stove, broad shoulders complemented by a tight black turtleneck, stirring a pot with a wooden spoon. 

Hoseok looked over his shoulder and grinned at him.

“Changkyunnie, welcome home”, he abounded his cooking and padded across the wooden floor to wrap his arms around Changkyun’s waist. Changkyun’s arms found purchase around Hoseok’s neck, and his face pressed into the soft juncture between his neck and shoulder. 

“Did you miss me hyung?”, He shifted to press a kiss right below Hoseok’s ear. He felt his boyfriend shiver and moved his hands to slide into the back pockets of Changkyun’s jeans. 

“Of course, it felt weird coming home and not being covered in secondhand paint stains”

Changkyun let out a small laugh and leaned up to kiss Hoseok properly. 

He melted against the taller man immediately. Their lips slotted together like puzzle pieces, a perfect fit. Hoseok’s lips were warm and soft, a touch Changkyun had craved for a month as he was staying with his mother, caring for her after his father’s untimely death. Sure, they had texted and called almost everyday, but nothing compared to feeling of security and love Changkyun felt when he was wrapped up in Hoseok’s strong arms. 

Hoseok tilted his head and deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into Changkyun’s mouth. Changkyun tighted his arms around Hoseok’s neck, pressing their chests together. 

He pulled away momentarily to look at his beautiful boyfriend. Hoseok’s thick lips were slick with spit, his soft brown eyes were hooded with lust, or admiration, Changkyun can’t tell. He pushed Hoseok’s hair back, the blue tipped strands felt like silk between his fingers. 

“Your blue has faded”, Changkyun stroked the hair at the back of Hoseok’s neck.

“I like it better this color”, Hoseok stated, “Its calmer, it doesn’t make me look like a jellyfish”

Changkyun kissed him quickly on the lips before tightening his fingers in his boyfriend’s hair.

“Show me how much you missed me hyung”

Hoseok grinned down at him and obliged, sliding his hands to grip Changkyun’s ass and lift him on to the kitchen table. He stood in-between Changkyun’s parted knees and moved his hands up his thighs. 

Changkyun arched his back to press against Hoseok’s chest and moaned softly when he felt Hoseok’s lips attach themselves to his neck. He tilted his head to give Hoseok more access and slipped his fingers under the hem of his turtleneck. 

“It feels like years since I’ve touched you, have you been working out more?”

Hoseok let out a hum as he lifted his arms, letting Changkyun strip off his sweater. 

Changkyun was always stunned by Hoseok’s body, he swears his boyfriend was sculpted by the gods. Changkyun has tried to paint Hoseok countless times but a combination of Changkyun’s heated stares and Hoseok’s wandering hands meant they had always gotten carried away.

Changkyun admired the body in front of him, Hoseok’s sculpted abs, firm pecks and strong arms never failed to turn him on. He smoothed his hands up his toned abdominals and pressed his thumbs into Hoseok’s nipples. 

He smirked when he heard the quick gasp Hoseok emitted. His smirk disappeared when he noticed the faded purple bruise just above his collarbone. He pushed Hoseok away from him slightly so he could see it clearly. Suddenly it made sense why Hoseok was wearing a turtleneck when it was so warm in the apartment. 

Changkyun slipped off the table and placed his feet firmly on the ground

“Are you kidding me?”, he asked plainly, although the anger was evident in his eyes. 

“What are you talking about Kyunnie? I thought we were having fun”, Hoseok looked genuinely confused and Changkyun felt bad for a second, but one look at the hickey on his boyfriend’s neck quickly dismissed those feelings. 

“Don’t play dumb with me Hoseok, I know I didn’t leave that there”, he pointed accusingly at the mark. 

The color drained out of Hoseok’s face and his eyes became big and watery

“Changkyun please, let me expla-“

“Who was it, Do I know them?”, He cut him off completely, not wanting to hear any bullshit excuses fall from Hoseok’s quivering lips. 

“Changkyunnie calm down, let me talk to you”, the desperation was clear in his voice. 

“Don’t call me that, tell me who the fuck it was”, Changkyun felt a ting of guilt as tears rolled down his boyfriend’s cheeks. 

He knew Hoseok was a sensitive soul, he cried at the end of children’s movies on a regular basis. Under all the hard muscle he was a big softie and that is what Changkyun loved about him, but now, the shivering man in front of him only pissed him off. 

“Hyungwon”, he sobbed out.

Changkyun was shocked. Hyungwon was a good friend of his, they were roommates in Changkyun’s freshman year. He was the first person Changkyun felt he could really trust. Well, the joke was on him because he was completely wrong. 

“You’re fucking kidding me, Hyungwon?”, he pushed Hoseok away from him before he had a chance to answer. He stormed out of the kitchen and back to the entrance, where he gathered his coat and began to put his shoes on.

Hoseok followed him out, “It wasn’t even good sex, Changkyun, I was just lonely and I missed you”

Changkyun snapped, “Oh, so it didn’t count because it was bad sex? My father was literally dying while you were fucking my friends. Letting them mark you up and thinking that I wouldn’t notice? Fuck you, hyung.”, He reached for the door and took one last look at Hosoek. Hoseok and his soft eyes, thick lips and his unique blue hair. The face that he had touched and kissed and loved for six months. 

He twisted the handle and stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

The walk home was cold and windy, Changkyun tried so hard not to burst into tears when Jooheon had opened the door and asked him what was wrong.

“Its nothing hyung, don’t worry about it”, he pushed past him and locked himself in his room.

He rummaged through all his art supplies and found every tube of blue paint he had. He flicked the light switch in the bathroom. 

Changkyun looked at himself in the mirror. He looked like shit, hair mussed by the wind, cheeks and nose tinged red from the cold and eyes threating to spill over at any second. 

He unscrewed the first tube of blue paint and squeezed the entire thing into the sink. He watched with sorry eyes as the paint bled into the drain, the color lightening as it mixed with the water. He recalled the contrast between Hoseok’s red eyes and light blue locks as he unscrewed the next tube and squeezed it into the basin. 

He continued until every paint tube was empty and his face was streaked with tears. He collapsed onto the floor and let himself drift into a fitful sleep, completely emotionally exhausted. 

Changkyun dreamt of waves, swirling currents of blue and green, threating to sweep him up and carry him far, far away. Engulfing him into a cerulean hell, but the water filling his lungs felt like a warm hug.

He woke with a start and checked his phone

_1:34 am_

He stretched out his limbs and removed himself from the bathroom floor. Eyeing the mess he had made in the sink, he turned on both taps and watched the blue paint swirl down the drain.

-  
Changkyun slipped the key into the new lock and twisted. He pushed the door open and let a grin fall over his features as he stepped into his new apartment. Jooheon followed behind him, carrying a cardboard box with him. 

Jooheon set the box down, “I’m not gonna lie dude, I’m pretty upset we wont be living together anymore”

Changkyun let out a heart laugh, “Don’t worry man, I’ll still be around”

He had worked countless double shifts at the campus coffee shop to earn enough to rent a nicer, newer apartment off campus. He figured he deserved it, he had had a rough year. He had his first serious relationship, his first serious heartbreak, his dad had died and he was starting his final year of college. 

Jooheon smiled and gave him a slap on the back, “These walls are looking a little bare, I’m sure you’ll fill them up with some of your art work though, right?”

Changkyun looked up at the walls. They were eggshell white and they stretched out like the huge, expansive canvases he used for his art class. It was like a clean sheet of sketch book paper. The white was a bit bleary, but for Changkyun, it symbolized a new begining. A new chapter in his life. 

He glanced at the wall one more time, and then back to Jooheon

“Nah hyung, I think they look great”, Changkyun smiled.

This year, he had learnt the colors happiness, bright, cheerful and warm. The hot shades of passion and the varying hues of depression. He understood what grieving looks like, and then what healing looks like. And now he was learning the colors of a new beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> haaaaaaaaaa
> 
> this fic was actually a school assignment i did last year. i got a pretty shitty mark so i decided to revise it and post it here! 
> 
> feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> come talk to me on twitter: @lovelywonho


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